i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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