WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
