We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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