I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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