This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why can't burritos get me drunk
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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