Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
