You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
