yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
even my farts smell like vagina
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
