it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
