I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
