Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
