you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
