Can i not drive my cunt home
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Princesses don't give blow jobs
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
