i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
