i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
