Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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