So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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