toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
