So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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