think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
