oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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