No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
