"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
