Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
