Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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