I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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