i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
