I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
barbara walters just said penis...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
