In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
