He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
