i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
