That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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