She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
