How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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