first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He uses pillows to masturbate.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
