wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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