Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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