you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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