How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
