You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
