she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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