Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
