Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
