my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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