I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
