I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
