watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
