smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
