Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
