i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
