I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's rum buckets o'clock
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
