My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
