this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
